A blog about my faith, organized religion, and most importantly, LOVE.
I am not sure I can find the all the right words for this blog, but I can assure you all that it's not going to be one of those angry-ass rants I used to write constantly two-three years ago.
I guess I'll start with a quote by one of my biggest inspirations. "...When I think about my relationship with God, I would describe it as an amazing love story... My relationship with church is a different story. It's been a lot rockier and a lot more difficult..." Dr. Brené Brown, a social worker, one of my role models, and an all-around badass. I could not relate to her more when I heard these words. Let me explain why.
Back in 2013, I fully dove into my faith, having Christian friends, attending church and the meetings of our on-campus Christian student org. And I still believe that all those things are absolutely beautiful and important, but from the very beginning and especially lately, I have been having an insanely hard time with calling myself a Christian, people. Don't get me wrong, my relationship with God is solid, and comforting, and amazing, and imperfect, and incredibly challenging at times. Despite those challenges, I still feel His presence in my life every moment and I am so grateful for absolutely everything and everyone He's given me and let me experience in life. The good, the bad, the painful- everything.
What I've been sick of lately to the point of exhaustion and having no words is the hypocrisy and the judgment that churches and Christians relentlessly display towards people and, sometimes, communities (yes, entire fucking communities) that they chose to "other".
It's the inability to listen and show compassion to people going through deepest depths of darkness. People come to us (and I am saying "us" because I realize full well that I am guilty of this too) in hopes of finding a listening ear, someone that can help them see just enough light to help the healing to start, yet what they receive instead is Bible verses being shoved down their throats and comments that only make them shut down and suffer in silence.
It's the refusal to meet, welcome, and love people exactly where they are. Let's face it, we're all imperfect and broken, but why do we make each other feel like a piece of crap when we open up about our flaws and struggles and pretend like we're perfect all of a sudden? We're all in this together. Isn't that the point?
It's the superficiality that makes people feel as though experiencing pain is somehow wrong and showing raw emotion is not being a "good Christian" (whatever the hell that means). Yes, the joy we have in God is priceless and always with us as well as God, but at times, just a human touch, a hug, a "That sucks" or "I am sorry you're going through this", or "I've been there" would be enough to make a soul feel not alone. How cool is it that we can be vulnerable like that with one another and not make each other feel weird, weak, or alienated for what we're going through??
Anyways, this is getting kind of long, but I just needed a way to get this out. This is not a personal attack on anyone particular and certainly not something I wrote for you all to feel pity on me. Rather, I hope this blurb will get us to think and may be start an open, respectful discussion.
Lastly, if any of you have ever been hurt by a church or organized religion before, I am so sorry. God is not a book of discipline. God is not rules. God is even not church. God is love. And love you (and me) He does FOR.SURE. Wherever you are however undeserving of that love, an incredibly beautiful, strong, forgiving one, you might feel at times.
Sending you all the biggest, warmest hugs and most positive vibes.
E.
I guess I'll start with a quote by one of my biggest inspirations. "...When I think about my relationship with God, I would describe it as an amazing love story... My relationship with church is a different story. It's been a lot rockier and a lot more difficult..." Dr. Brené Brown, a social worker, one of my role models, and an all-around badass. I could not relate to her more when I heard these words. Let me explain why.
Back in 2013, I fully dove into my faith, having Christian friends, attending church and the meetings of our on-campus Christian student org. And I still believe that all those things are absolutely beautiful and important, but from the very beginning and especially lately, I have been having an insanely hard time with calling myself a Christian, people. Don't get me wrong, my relationship with God is solid, and comforting, and amazing, and imperfect, and incredibly challenging at times. Despite those challenges, I still feel His presence in my life every moment and I am so grateful for absolutely everything and everyone He's given me and let me experience in life. The good, the bad, the painful- everything.
What I've been sick of lately to the point of exhaustion and having no words is the hypocrisy and the judgment that churches and Christians relentlessly display towards people and, sometimes, communities (yes, entire fucking communities) that they chose to "other".
It's the inability to listen and show compassion to people going through deepest depths of darkness. People come to us (and I am saying "us" because I realize full well that I am guilty of this too) in hopes of finding a listening ear, someone that can help them see just enough light to help the healing to start, yet what they receive instead is Bible verses being shoved down their throats and comments that only make them shut down and suffer in silence.
It's the refusal to meet, welcome, and love people exactly where they are. Let's face it, we're all imperfect and broken, but why do we make each other feel like a piece of crap when we open up about our flaws and struggles and pretend like we're perfect all of a sudden? We're all in this together. Isn't that the point?
It's the superficiality that makes people feel as though experiencing pain is somehow wrong and showing raw emotion is not being a "good Christian" (whatever the hell that means). Yes, the joy we have in God is priceless and always with us as well as God, but at times, just a human touch, a hug, a "That sucks" or "I am sorry you're going through this", or "I've been there" would be enough to make a soul feel not alone. How cool is it that we can be vulnerable like that with one another and not make each other feel weird, weak, or alienated for what we're going through??
Anyways, this is getting kind of long, but I just needed a way to get this out. This is not a personal attack on anyone particular and certainly not something I wrote for you all to feel pity on me. Rather, I hope this blurb will get us to think and may be start an open, respectful discussion.
Lastly, if any of you have ever been hurt by a church or organized religion before, I am so sorry. God is not a book of discipline. God is not rules. God is even not church. God is love. And love you (and me) He does FOR.SURE. Wherever you are however undeserving of that love, an incredibly beautiful, strong, forgiving one, you might feel at times.
Sending you all the biggest, warmest hugs and most positive vibes.
E.
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